Sorry I've been MIA

Hello!

As the title says, sorry I've been Missing In Action, it's just that so much has happened recently. 

My kids have been an absolute handful. Both currently ill with ChickenPox so they've been slightly more demanding than usual (I know right?) 

My little man celebrated his first birthday, and he's been back and forth to physio with his dodgy deformed foot. 

My health has just gone completely downhill :( 

I had a scan on my abdomen recently and discovered that I have got a rather large gallstone! My consultant has told me that I will need an operation to completely remove my gallbladder. Also, I've found out that I have celiac disease. Which explains why I'm struggling to keep food down. All the problems have been brought on buy my eating disorder. Woop! (Not really, kill me now!!)

But other than that, all is ok. I've been training like a trooper for this years Cancer Research, Race For Life. I've entered two events this year, 5k and a 10k. Both I will be running/jogging around the course. 

I'm collecting sponsors/donations and if anyone would like to donate to a worthy cause, this is the link which directs you to my Just Giving page. 

https://www.justgiving.com/kimsherwood/

So yeah, that's it really, just busy busy and having fun being ill and training :p 

Thanks for reading 

ABM xxx

On A Downer

Hello my lovelies. 

Well today I just feel like I could give up. I honestly can't explain why I feel this way.

I feel so alone. My husband hardly ever makes an effort with me. Our relationship is almost non existant, Diddle is a handful and Bubs is too. 

I'm in a constant battle with my body and weight. One day I feel good and the next I hate everything about myself. I binge/purge - feel crap, starve, repeat. 

I have no friends who I could just call and say hey, I wanna die right now. I have family but I hardly ever see them. It would be so lovely if I had one of those moms who was at my house all the time. 

I hate feeling alone. I don't want to be on my own right now. I need help. No ones here though and those who say they're there for me, where are they now?

I never have any time to myself,  I'm either walking diddle to school n back, entertaining my kids, cleaning, cooking, dressing kids, doing everything for diddle because although she's almost 4 she cannot do a single thing for herself. Both kids demand my attention, both always want me to do something for them. 

Bubs is behind in his development because I find it hard to give him my time. 

The hubby tells me to leave the housework, and when I do leave it, he moans. I can't win. 

I never get time to breathe. It's taking me forever to type this up cos I keep having to stop every 2 mins. 

I feel that right now I could seriously do something stupid. If I could cut I would. If I could overdose and end my life now, I would. 

I don't want this existence anymore. It's not even a life. 

I don't even think I want help right now. I just wanna end it all and be done with it. No one would even notice I'd gone - well except the kids, and hubby cos whose gonna be there to clean their house and put food on their table??

ABM xxx

The Dot Day Project

Hello Lovlies

Sorry I haven't posted anything for a while. I've been doing a lot of soul searching. I'm still desperately trying to find who I am. 

But, as a whole, I am feeling a little better about myself today- yay! I mean it's gonna be a long while before I'm on top form, but it's a start. 

Anyway, before I turn this into a lengthy post, I wanted to tell you about 'The Dot Day Project' which has been trending on Instagram and Twitter  #TheDotDayProject

It's basically to show support to others who are battling with certain problems/issues. 

Here is the trending photo;

It's pretty much self explanatory. 

Here's my dots;

I have been affected by many of the issues (words/phrases) as illustrated in the first picture. 

These are my past, my present, but hopefully not my future. 

I am now working my butt off to make my life a happier one :)

Stay Strong my Lovlies. 

ABM xxx

Water Marble Nails

Hi everyone!

I hope you're having a great day. 

I just thought I'd share some nail art I did a couple of nights ago. 

When I was big on my nails a couple of years ago, my favourite technique was water marbling. 

To achieve this look, I used Barry M Gelly paints. They have the perfect consistency for water marbling. 

'I'll do up a quick tutorial one of the days, but basically, paint your nails a base colour, this time I used Barry M Matt white, grab yourself a shot glass (no, we don't need to get drunk to do this!!) pop some room temp water in it (see, not a drop of alcohol in sight!!)

Grab 2 or 3 colours of nail polish (I'll list up below what I used) then let the polish drop from the brush into the water, and alternate the colours, kinda like a bulls eye, then with a cocktail stick, drag the polish into a pattern, then dunk your nail in! 

Then keeping your nail in the water, clean off the excess polish off the surface of the water, then lift out your finger. 

Then all being well you should have a pretty design left on your nail!!

Clean up using cotton buds and pure actone and seal with a good topcoat. 

I think they came out quite well! What do you think?

Have you ever tried water marble nail art?

Products used;

Rimmel Double Duty base coat

Barry M Gelly Paints in; blueberry, prickly pear, papaya and green berry

Setch Vite quick dry topcoat

Tanke care my lovelies!

ABM xxx

(Nails By Kimi) 

Ombré Nails

Hello

I thought I'd show you some nail art I did over the weekend. 

I absolutely love ombré nail art, I'm quite pleased with how these have turned out. 

I used 

Barry M white (as a base)

Models Own Blueberry Muffin, Apple pie and pastel pink. 

China glaze snow globe. 

I hope you like them!

ABM xxx

'Nails By Kimi' is my official tag and copyrighted. 

Bad Day

Hi loves 

I hope you're all doing well. 

I wasn't so great yesterday something trigger me off into a binge and the binge lead to harming myself. 

I'm so sick and tired of this vicious circle I find myself in. 

So basically, I felt insulted yesterday morning by another person. 

Usually when I drop off Diddle at school, I'll take a walk into town, to grab a few odds n sods. 

It was raining so I had Bubs in his pram with the rain cover. I went into Boots to grab him something for his cough, then I ran into PoundLand to buy Diddle a pack of smarties and a few other items. 

I walked onto the shop on a world of my own, which isn't uncommon, whilst muttering to myself about what I needed, and trying to calm Bubs down as he was crying at this stage, and I walked past the security guard, and headed right to the confectionary isle. I picked up Diddles Smarties, dropped them ontop of the pram hood and carried on walking around the store. I zipped around the store 2 or 3 times, realised they didn't have what I needed, grabbed some other goodies and proceeded to the que. 

Now as I was mindlessly wondering around the store, I did notice that the security guard was following me, watching my every move. I was getting angrier and angrier. I could feel his eyes on me. It was horrible. I felt like he was judging me, I felt targeted. All because I was pushing a pram. They seem to think that if you have a pram, you're on the rob. 

Once I did que up, he returned to his spot, located at the front of the store, and in the 10mins I was que'd up, he didn't not once move from his spot or look at anyone else. I was so infuriated. 

So when I did finally get served, once I received my change from the cashier, I said, in a very angry (and loud tone of voice) 

'You wanna tell your security guard that not everyone who comes in here with a pram is one the rob. And I will be taking this further'

She didn't look at me, or say anything. Which wound me up even more. 

I left the store in such a state, I was angry, I felt physically sick, I was crying and shaking. 

I suffer so bad with my nerves and anxiety. Anyone else would of shrugged this off, but not me. How can i??

The rest of the day was a blur. I binges, I purged, I binged some more. And I harmed myself - again. I was so worked up. 

By the time my hubby came home I felt physically wore out. I had already phoned him up to tell him about the incident. I went to bed when he got back at 5:30pm and that's where I stayed till the next morning. 

Have you ever felt so angry before like this?

Tank care my loves 

ABM xxx

Bit Of Nail Art

I was feeling a little down the other night so I decided to do my nails. 

I haven't really done much with my nails of a good while so I'm so really out of touch! 

This is what I came up with. 

I used Models Own Hyper Gel in Cerise Shine, Models own Gold (limited edition freebie form forever ago) Barry M matte White, setch Vite top coat and a dotting tool to make the flowers and spots :)

The Models Own HyperGel was amazing! So shiny when it dried and it looked like I'd been to a professional salon. 

Drying time took a while but with SetchVite it cut the drying time by half. 

Cerise could be a one coater if you were in a rush but for best results I used three thinner coats. The coverage was great and even. 

Barry M Matte White is my all time favourite white, even coverage with two good coats. 

I hope you like!

ABM xxx